Restoring Our Feeling of Being Connected

Loneliness is surging even though we’re more ‘connected’ than ever before in human history. As we stare at our screens and follow so many ‘friends’, we forget to look up and feel connected face-to-face with our surroundings, with nature, and with the stars in the universe above.

On my recent trip to Mexico, I saw a father balancing 2 children on his motor bike, one in front and one behind, while gazing at his phone as he rode by. Really? Everywhere people are captured by the messages bombarding them on their screens rather than talking to each other or witnessing the world around them.  

The science of our disconnection

Recent studies show that Americans now spend an average of 7 hours per day on screens, not counting work-related usage!

Meanwhile, loneliness has reached epidemic proportions and hasn’t abated since the Covid epidemic. The U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health crisis in 2023, and it started before we were all forcibly separated to protect our health.

A recent national survey conducted by Harvard researchers found that 73% of Americans blamed technology as the cause of their loneliness, and 66% said their loneliness results from not having enough time with their families. 81% of people who said they were lonely also suffer from anxiety and depression.

But the problem doesn’t necessarily stem from being alone. Many said they were surrounded by other people, including family, but they didn’t feel appreciated by others or felt used by them.

 The researchers called this “existential loneliness” because people felt separate or disconnected from others despite being in proximity, while their “true selves” were going unseen.

Neuroscience reveals why this matters so deeply. When we connect in person, our brains release oxytocin, the bonding hormone that reduces stress and creates feelings of trust and safety. We mirror each other's expressions, pick up on subtle emotional cues, and synchronize our nervous systems in ways that simply don't happen through a screen. 

The power of presence

Humans are social animals, and our biology is wired for physical presence. Our hearts start to beat in rhythm with each other when we sit closely, share activities, or feel positive emotions together. Our breathing synchronizes as we fall into harmony with the warmth of another human being.

Feeling emotional empathy by sharing and resonating with another person cuts through disconnection and isolation. This kind of empathetic attention—witnessing each other’s experience—relieves loneliness in a way sympathy, though kind, cannot.

The ritual of a warm cup

How many times do we hear someone say, “Let’s meet for a cup of coffee”?

In other cultures, it may be a cup of tea, cacao, chai, or mate. The sharing of a warm cup made from an infusion of plants probably stems from our hunting and gathering days—sitting around a fire, sharing stories. It is a time-honored ritual that promotes intimacy and creates a sacred space for connection. Sipping a cup filled with a warm, delicious beverage helps create a bridge between us.

But connection isn't only about other people. Some of the most meaningful moments happen when we sit alone with our warm cup, finally present to our own inner landscape.

In our overstimulated world, we've lost the art of reflection. We fill every quiet moment with podcasts, music, social media, and news feeds. Yet it's in these quiet moments, cradling a warm cup and watching the steam rise, that we can hear our own inner voice. We can process our experiences, integrate our emotions, and reconnect with what matters most to us.

This isn't loneliness; it's a moment to enjoy solitude. Loneliness is feeling the ache of disconnection. Solitude comes when we give ourselves permission to simply be without distraction. Without all the noise, we remember who we are. We inhale, we sip and we commune with our hearts and our feelings.

Reconnecting with nature

When you enjoy a cup of Teeccino, you're drinking the essence of plants that have evolved phytonutrients over the millennia—which nourish, protect and revitalize our bodies.

The chicory root that gives your cup its rich, roasted depth brings its prebiotic inulin to nourish your beneficial microflora for good gut health. The dandelion root that stimulates your liver and kidneys to detox has brought minerals and bitters from deep in the earth to ignite the elimination process.

The ramon seeds falling from upper canopy trees standing for decades in regenerative forests have collected sunlight and transformed it into antioxidants to protect your cells from free radicals.

Research in environmental psychology shows that feeling connected to nature significantly reduces loneliness and improves mental health. We're not meant to live entirely in human-made environments, staring at overly bright screens. We've evolved in relationship with the natural world, and our well-being depends on maintaining that connection.

But you don't have to be hiking in the wilderness to feel this connection. You just need to appreciate the gifts the plants have brought to your life. Look around you and notice the natural beauty nature creates so effortlessly for our enjoyment. Drink it in!

Now is the moment to foster connection

Hit pause on your busy life for just a moment each day. Take time to cultivate the garden of your relationships. Choose the warm reality of a shared cup over the cold glow of a screen.

Listen to a loved one or a friend as they relate something truly important about their lives. Ask them questions. Speak from your heart. Refrain from advice, but be present for their feelings and be willing to open up and be vulnerable with your own deep feelings.

Your attention is what is needed to deepen a shared moment into a wellspring of connection that softens our boundaries. You’ll come away with a warm, comforting feeling that glows like a light in this world of separation.

My recommendation: If loneliness returns, ask what you can do to help another. It’s through participating in activities together and our willingness to serve others’ needs that we find the greatest life satisfaction. This is the path that develops our sense of interconnection with each other and the world around us.